英语搞笑笑话8篇

英语小笑话 50个单词

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down

Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I fot to shake the bottle

妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？

汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了

look：（我收集的10个英文笑话带中文翻译）

1A bit of advice for those about to retire If you are only 65, never move to a retirement munity Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid'

这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社群。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

英语小笑话每句9个单词

Q: What does a nosey pepper do

A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle

A: An Impasta

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest

A: An Investigator

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish

A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Q: "What's the difference beeen a guitar and a fish"

A: "You can't tuna fish"

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card"

Son: "My friend just borrowed it He wants to scare his parents"

英语小笑话 (初二)80个单词要翻译

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk"

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话(10-30个单词)七年级

The Dog And The Shadow 狗和它的影子

A DOG,crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth,saw his own shadow in the water,and took it for that of another Dog,with a piece of meat double his own in sizeHe therefore let go his own,and fiercely attacked the other Dog,to get his larger piece from himHe thus lost both:that which he grasped at in the water,because it was a shadow; and his own,because the stream swept it away

一条狗嘴里叼块肉,来到一座桥上它看见水里有自己的影子,以为是另一条嘴里也叼著一块比自己那块肉大一倍的狗它忙丢下自己嘴里的那块肉,猛力地攻击水里的狗试图去抢它的肉结果,它两块肉都得不到因为那只是一个影子,它自己的影子而已真正的肉也被水冲走了

Which do you find more important,money or friends

B:Friends,of course

A:Why

B:I can always borrow money from friends

钱和朋友

甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要

乙：当然是朋友

甲：为什么

乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱

英语小笑话只要七个单词带翻译

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap After she woke up, she told her hu and, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day What do you think it means

You'll know tonight he said

That evening, the man came home with a all package and gave it to his wife Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled The meaning of dreams

一名年轻女子正在午睡。 当她醒来时，她告诉她的丈夫，我刚才梦见你给我一个情人节的珍珠项链。 你觉得它是什么意思？

今晚你就会知道, 他说。

那天晚上，该男子带着一个小包回家来，然后将它交给了他的妻子。 她高兴地打开了它 - 却只发现是一本题为梦的书。

补充：

sentences的意思：句子，警句，定律。要根据上下文而定，你可以查词典解决。

英语小笑话50子

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom

"What kind of bird" my sister asked

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest" my sister encouraged her

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair "

Notes:

(1) inform v告诉

(2) nest n窝；巢

(3) description n描述

(4) encourage v鼓励

(5) resemble v 相似；类似

18鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj有毒的

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the ooth marble floor and slid onto her back Her momentum carried her close to my shoes Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up Gaining her posure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk"

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream About Sex我整天都在想着

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了

英语小笑话40词内

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk"

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream About Sex我整天都在想着

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了

一个英语小笑话，要求超过一百个单词

my little dog can't read

Mrs Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow Now who can tell us which is which

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer

Teacher: Please tell us

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

求一个初二英语小笑话 大约50个单词 简学易懂 急需

1Two Birds

Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow Now who can tell us which is which

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer

Teacher: Please tell us

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2The New Teacher

Gee es from school on the first of September

"Gee, how did you like your new teacher" asked his mother

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that o and four were six too"

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

望采纳

求一个大约50、60个英语单词的英文小笑话，带翻译。~~~~(>_<)~~~~

A iling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities "

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!

英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/No Cavities

小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”

妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”

这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？

1泼水节

泼水节上,大家彼此泼水祝福,突然一人骂道:妈的 ,谁泼我旁人劝道:泼你是祝福你

骂人者道:少来这套,谁拿开水泼我来着

2等车

今天早上上班赶公共汽车,到站台的时候,汽车已经启动于是我边追边喊:"师傅,等等

我,师傅等等我呀!"

这是一乘客从车窗探出头来冲我说了一句:"悟空,你就别追了"

3岂有此理

医院的产房外,一群男子正在等着就任新爸爸一位护士从产房匆匆走出,对其中一位说

道:"祝贺你,你太太生了!"

另外一位男子把烟蒂掷在地上,跳起来喊道:"岂有此理!我比他先到的,为什么还没轮到我"

4扎针

某甲到医院做健康检查，护士拿了针要替他抽血，某甲看著闪闪发亮的的针头忍不住问：“会不会痛啊？我怕痛！”护士说：“放心好了，我做了二十几年的护士……”某甲说：“太好了，我放心了！”然后护士一针扎下，只听到某甲杀猪般的一声惨叫，护士才缓缓接道：“没有一次不痛的。”

5弄巧成拙

酒吧里，乔治独自在喝着啤酒。他突然觉得自己要去洗手间，他怕离开后有人偷喝他的啤酒，便在桌上写了一张纸条：“我在杯中吐了口水。”他回来后，发现纸上又加了一句：“我也吐了一口。”。。。

6声音太大

诸葛亮是个精通奇门八术的人，其中有一项特长就是口技。却说这一日诸葛亮正与刘备在帐中议事，诸葛亮突然想放屁，又怕被刘备听见，不好意思。他灵机一动 ，道：“主公，为了调节一下气氛，我学啄木鸟叫给你听怎么样？”刘备点点头。诸葛 亮模仿啄木鸟叫了两声，趁机把屁给放了。然后问道：“怎么样主公？我学的象不象？ ”刘备道：“你再学一次吧，刚才你放屁的声音太大，我没见。”

7

有一丑女始终嫁不出去，希望被拐卖，一天终于梦想成真，被人绑架，绑匪嫌她丑，将其送回原处，此女坚决不下车，绑匪头咬牙跺脚地说：走！车不要了！

8春运时火车非常拥挤，某君趁停车时将屁股伸出窗外大便。车下的巡检员发现大喊：叼雪茄的胖子，把头缩回去

9我在马路边，看到一分钱，刚要弯腰捡，原来是口痰，我，他个妈，谁吐这么圆？

10一次军事演戏中，一棵炮d偏离很远。派去查看的士兵发现，炮d落在农田里，田中站着一农民，衣衫破碎满面漆黑，双眼含泪的说：偷棵白菜，犯得着用炮轰吗？？？

11还记得那年在树下军训吗？教练对同学们说：“第一排报数！”你惊讶地看着教练，教练又大声说了一便：“报数！”于是，你极不情愿地转过身去抱住了树！

12天气呼冷呼热，在这季节心情难以平静，总挂念着远方的你，我愿养一只信鸽，让它每天飞到你处，哪怕能做的只是简简单单的一个动作：在你头上拉一泡屎！

13

某晚，一裸男叫了一辆出租车，女司机目不转睛盯着看他，裸男大怒，吼道：你他妈没见过裸男呀！女司机也大怒：我看你他妈从哪儿掏钱！

14某村妇首次进城，欲上茅厕，良久未遇，无奈求助警察：同志，前面有个公厕，请问母厕在哪？

15护士看到一病人在病房喝酒，就走过去小声地对他说：“小心肝！”病人微笑着说：“小宝贝。”

16一老伙计丢车，当他把新买的一辆车放在楼下时他上了三把锁并夹了一张纸：让你丫偷！第二天车没丢，并且多了两把锁和一张纸，上写着：让你丫骑！

17 老师想让体育委员确认一下全班女生来齐没有，就对他说：“你去把全班女生清一下。”体委是个小色鬼，忙问：“亲哪个？”老师￥#……￥%

18初中数学课上，老师讲方程式变换，在讲台上袖子一挽大声喝道：同学们注意！我要变形了！……

19上网的时候，朋友总说过，如果您回帖了，会全家幸福的

不然的话……

下面是我整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!

英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother Your stomach's hurting because it's empty It'll be all right when you've got something in it

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache

That's because it's empty, said his bright son You'd be all right if you had something in it

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

英语搞笑笑话：　Fried chicken

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack"

Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir"

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊”

杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”

英语搞笑笑话：I've Just Bitten My Tongue

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

英语搞笑笑话：我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

How much English can you speak

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to

be accused of theft He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his

way around What's more, he only speaks a few words of English"

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。

而且，他只会说几个 英语单词 。"

法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文"

被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我!"

英语搞笑笑话：He Won 他赢了

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

英语搞笑笑话：Three pastors 三个牧师

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away

Another said, Yes, me too I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away

The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the churchhaven’t seen one back since!

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员从此一只也没有再回来过。”

英语搞笑笑话：Excited Remarks 激动的话

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive

One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies

我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会高兴得哇哇直叫，并激动地说：瞧这辆!瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。

一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。

英语搞笑笑话：Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic

Here is the situation, she said A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help

His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank Why do you think she ran to the bank

A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会 游泳 ，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款

笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术 方法 ，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是我整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!

英语笑话 一：Is he dying

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten

一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmer

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n。

一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的**笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下车来把。

英语笑话三：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient He promptly replied: "Five grains"

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late Your patient died thirty seconds ago"

一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”

英语笑话四：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann

“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安” 老师发问道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings replied the little girl

“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。

英语笑话五：脑移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician"

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price "Is the brain of a politician that much better" he asked

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused"

一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗”他问。

医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”

英语笑话六：最丑的孩子

A woman gets on a bus with her baby The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen"

一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you"

女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

英语笑话七：我娶了你的姐妹

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home

一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个 万圣节 夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork

当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。

"Who are you" he asked

“你是谁”丈夫问到。

"I'm the Devil!" she responded

“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”

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